Feature: Songs of Remembrance
I’ve never been a lyric guy.
Now that I have your attention please understand I realize lyrics are important otherwise we just have instrumental music, right? Honestly for the most part of my life I’ve only cared about the riff, the barrage of power chords, the vocal melody that leads to the hook.
Alas without a vocal melody (that’s where those pesky lyrics come in) many songs would be lost. No payoff, no anthem no HOOK to get you to listen again and again.
All that being said, this article is about those WORDS that are put to music. More importantly, how those words impacted me in some of the darkest times of my life. I can honestly say that the Holy Spirit used these specific tracks in times of doubt, in times of desert wandering, in times of loss, in times of divorce (which might as well say death, because the destruction of a relationship is a death in its own right.)
And honestly I hope you don’t mind that I’m gonna bare my soul at this point in this article. Without some life context the songs themselves are just bits of musical fluff, whimsical thoughts attached to endearing melodies that may or may not have importance. Truly only in the eye of the beholder.
Joshua 4:6-7
“Let this be a sign among you, so that when your children ask later, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ then you shall say to them, ‘Because the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.’ So these stones shall become a memorial to the sons of Israel forever.”
Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/Joshua/4/7
In the same way there are songs that through the decades have become my “stones” or “rocks” of remembrance. However when I first discovered the deep meaning for me in these songs, I wasn’t expecting it. I really wasn’t, again I’ve really never been a ‘lyrics guy’…
I can’t say that so much anymore.
Let me introduce you to 12 songs that impacted me and drew me closer to the Lord, or at least reminded me in a personal way that the Lord was still with me. Even if I really thought I’d been left on the heap of discarded refuse.
By the way, these aren’t in any particular order. There isn’t one song more important than another. With that thought let me also include here that there are a few songs THAT ARE NOT METAL. Heck one of them doesn’t fit in the rock genre at all, with that being said don’t get your panties in a wad there is plenty of crushing metal encouragement to go around. We’ve attempted to attach links to the songs themselves on YouTube so perhaps you can hear what I hear or heard…
Blessings
Track #1
Theocracy – Stir the Embers from 2016’s “Ghost Ship”.
A hardened heart from the daily grind dealing with the turmoil of the day to day. Trying to deal with my place within the Kingdom (whatever that may be or where ever I am.) Wrapped within a power metal track with some proggy metal trappings this song hit like a light through the darkness.
It caused me to re-evaluate what I was doing for the Kingdom. Was my bitterness from some event’s 15 years prior still hindering me (more about that later), perhaps. After being asked to be an elder and go through a process to become one. Then being turned down. 2016-2017 was tough on my spirit in regards to church.
This prayer was truth,
“A broken spirit of the ways of man
Forever paved with sorrow (Sorrow, sorrow)
A new awakening, arise today
No waiting for tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Falling down below
Walk with me, I’ll never be the same again I know
Bring down fire from the sky
Take the ash of sin
And turn our hearts from slumber back again
Again
We cry
Come and stir the embers”
“A bruised reed he will not break, a smoking flax he will not extinguish…’ Matthew 12:20 quoting Isaiah 42:3. This verse will be repeated again and again in my life.
I will tell you now a lot of these events are going to sound repetitious. As I worked on this list and what these songs directed me to spiritually I wondered “Have I grown spiritually? Like at all?”
Perhaps you feel like that. IF you do and maybe if you don’t welcome to the club.
Track #2
Orphan Project – Fallen from 2009’s “Spooning Out the Sea”
You cannot imagine how tough it is to go through a second divorce unless you’ve been there. Being lied to, cheated on. Wondering if you would ever find any kind of happiness in the most intimate of relationships, marriage.
What event broached this terrible result that I now found myself dealing with, again? And why did God allow this to happen to me AGAIN? (Yes I realize God wasn’t the cause now…) When you are in the midst of the most hurtful pain imaginable you wonder, am I really a scumbag?
This track from the criminally underrated and underappreciated band Orphan Project was another lifeline for me. The lush progressive elements of Genesis, Marillion, Kansas with the crunch of the spectacular guitar work from Shane McBride added the metallic sheen I’m always looking for.
However it was Shane Lankford’s smooth vocals and dynamic melody that delivered the lines that pierced the armor around my heart. As I attempted to hold it all together, with a wavering of purpose on my part. I really needed to hold tight to the Lord but I was so done, so done… If this was what being in relationship meant I was done (or so I thought).
The heartfelt lyrics Shane penned seemed to be written just for me.
“ Here on the edge my ground
Is unsound
Crumbling down beneath my feet
Now here He comes
Salvation, Foundation
He’s the Rock that I cling to
He has carried me
When I’ve fallen
And I know I’ve never landed on my feet
He has carried me
When I’ve fallen
And I know I’m not alone”
2011-2012 was a terribly tough time. Devastating. There really is no easy way to get through times such as these. My second divorce came on the heals of dealing a bout of clinical depression. Taking things one day at a time was the only way to keep my head together and I didn’t always do so well at that.
I read scripture trying to digest it realizing it’s not just a collection of cliche’s that fellow Christians throw at each other to make one feel better. A somewhat difficult challenge at times, when you studied the Bible for school or used in pastoral work. It became a text book a challenge to balance all of these things.
I had put together a burn disc of ‘uplifting tracks’ to help me get through the days ahead. This was one of those songs. At the time doing pest control I was fortunate that my company truck had a CD player in it. Whew!!
Track #3
Barren Cross – King of Kings from 1988’s “Atomic Arena”
What can I say in conjunction with the above Orphan Project track this song by BC was a constant player for several years (I mean it still is.) This is a worship song that has no cheese. None. Worshipful in its intention but a METAL SONG!
Mike Lee’s (Drive) impeccable vocal, Ray’s frenetic guitar playing, Jim LaVerde’s driving bass line and Steve Whitaker’s solid drumming. This song is a near perfect metal track (wow did I just write that?)
In my despair I was reminded of who God is. Within this song elements of His majesty, elements of His nurture, elements of His love. It’s not a raw raw song, but one that will bring me to my knees and also cause me to raise my hands.
“There’s a mountain up in the Heavens
That can never ever be moved
He’s the Father of all creation
And He knows you even better than you do
“He’s the King of kings
The Master of all things
The power and the source
The everlasting force…
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth
This magnificent earth, all the mountains and the trees
All the creatures that fill the seas
His earth, this beautiful earth”
This song has become such an anthem for me personally. Musically there are other Barren Cross I may enjoy more, but this song will always be a treasure. And I should also mention that the song Here I Am from 1994’s ‘Rattle Your Cage’ is another song I delved into during this time. This prayerful yet musically powerful song (Ray powers those Mesa Boogie’s up to 11) brings the riffage and crunch, not mention a stellar solo. (Yes a bonus tune!).
Track #4
Demon Hunter – Lessor Gods from 2019’s “War”
I have often wondered why there seems to be so much animosity amongst ‘the elder guard’ of Christian Metal that Demon Hunter gets punked so much. When I first heard them was in 2003-2004 watching MTV2 Headbangers Hall hosted by Jaime Jasta from Hatebreed.
The video for the track Infected started playing and I saw the tag indicating Solid State and I remembered they were a Christian Label. I was blown away by their intensity and sheer heaviness. Having been out of the scene for several years (I got married and served in Pastoral Ministry) I was amazed. Immediately DH was on my radar, wow! A modern Christian metal act on MTV?? and doing it right!
I’ve been a fan albeit at times more cursory than involved. Which brings me to 2019. At the time I was working retail and for most of the shifts I worked, I was by myself and at times, that would be for HOURS and HOURS… and I mean after you’ve cleaned the store completed the tasks assigned and when no customers show up what do you do?
Pull out the trusty cell phone and watch metal video’s on YouTube! This track hit me hard that first time I heard/watched the video. It’s call to commitment without excuse and while at the same time not coming across judgemental. You either do or you don’t, pretty straight forward.
I was reminded of the importance of standing firm even during these turbulent days.
“When days fall dark, everything will fall apart
No path to guide, solace for a shattered heart
Inside
Something in your soul will beg you why
What gain it is to live and die
Here we stand
To turn and face the odds
Sacrifice yourself
Or bow to lesser gods”
Something about the riff reminds me of Slayer’s Reign in Blood, purely unintentional I’m sure. However it pricks at the back of my brain. Lyrically what else is there to say ‘Sacrifice yourself or bow to lessor gods.’
A call to the faithful which only by the grace of God can I call upon Him. A reminder I wasn’t expecting at the time and when I play it now it swings with more impact than before. A reminder when I wasn’t looking for one.
Track #5
Stryper – Makes Me Wanna Sing from 1985’s “Soldiers Under Command”
Back in 2011/2012 when the light was pretty dark. A second failed marriage while I was working a new job where I was by myself 90% of the time and still was overcoming a bout of clinical depression.
The CD-R I created to play in the work truck had this song as one of first 2 or 3 songs. It was the chorus that I wanted to repeat often and endlessly. Sure the frenetic down picking attracted me but it was chorus. The upbeat and cheerful enthusiasm of singing to the Lord
It’s a bubble gummy 80s hair metal track, with a great down stroked rhythm and a wonderful chorus.
“Jesus, King, King of Kings
Jesus, makes me want to Sing”
I was looking for something to stick in my head. Something to help cement the truth over the pain I was feeling. A melody to remember when I was away from the truck. A song for my crushed heart and soul.
“A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not extinguish…” Matthew 12:20
A reminder that God wasn’t finished with me, even though it appeared (and sometimes still seems) so. And yeah that verse from Matthew appears again!
Track #6
Michael Card – Never Will I Leave You from 2001’s “Soul Anchor”
During 2003 I was reminded that the Lord was with me, still. Labor Day of 2001 I officially stepped away from pastoral ministry to try to save a broken marriage and failed (this seems to be a theme…).
During my 3+ years of Pastoral Ministry I grew in great appreciation of Mr. Card and his biblical tracts set to seemingly folk tunings musically. This song in particular, which at the time it hit me I didn’t remember listening to before (I probably did but just forgot).
Anyway I’m driving to work (at the time selling mattresses/furniture) and frankly feeling very very low. Honestly it was one of those days where I really wanted to chuck the whole thing. Church attendance was low on my priority due to my insane work schedule. I had been an associate pastor and here I am doing this?
I was saying “I’m done here… No one cares… What did I do wrong??? I’m living with my parents again??? This just sucks…”
Then this track starts playing on my car CD player, the piano kicks in and the dude starts singing…
“Trust in Me
Keep your life free
From what the love of money will do
Am I not enough for you?”
“And never will I leave you
That’s something I’ll never do
Forever remember that it’s true
Never will I leave you”
I lost it as I pulled into the parking space at work. It was overcast that day which probably didn’t help matters. I’m crying up a storm as a lighting bolt hit my heart. The challenge was to try to put myself back together at that point. One thing about sales is confidence is key and I’d been shattered.
Somehow I was able to rebuild my composure and move on with my shift. How? Only the Lord knows.
And before anyone goes and looks it up, this isn’t a metal track at all. It’s not even rock n roll. However if I put Stryper’s “Together as One” on this list for some reason no one would bat an eye. This tune is a piano track, and reminds me of when God spoke to me and touched my heart, completely unexpected and completely necessary to my spiritual well being.
Romans 8:38-39.
“ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Perhaps one of the most important verses in scripture. I don’t really care for quick scripture hits. They feel trite, they feel cliche. However perhaps in this instance it is appropriate.
I will bring this Part One of a two part article to a close. If this list brings you comfort and/or some songs to bring encouragement that would be great. Perhaps I just desire that you know you aren’t the only follower of Jesus to feel crushed.
END OF PART ONE
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